Wedded Bliss- and Resolutions

Wedded Bliss

I think it would be hard to write about the rights of Americans without quoting the most important declaration of our nation that “ We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”This is the fundamental core of our doctrine, and it is our responsibility to make sure that each citizen is a fulfillment of this universal truth.

Gay marriage is a big topic today because there are states that are trying to legalize this institution so that anyone has the right to marry whom they choose. I believe that without giving everyone the right to choose who they legally bind themselves too, is in fact violating this fundamental value of our nation. Sexual orientation should not be considered a factor when we are to be a nation where religious beliefs are separate from our democratic government. I read on Steve A.’s essay that the idea of Separation of Church and state, may be going too far is it is removing the ideals that our forefathers established based on their Christian beliefs. It is true that our laws and government are based off of things that Christians consider Godly. Laws based off of the Ten Commandments are also are universal truths to most religions.  And I do personally think that it is important to recognize the foundation that we stand on.  However, I feel that as a nation we need to remind ourselves that we are to govern the people, who are all equal, without religious prejudice. It is the belief of many Christians, and other faiths, that a man should not marry a man, and woman should not marry a woman, and that the sanctity of marriage is to be a union between a man and a woman only.  I do believe though,  when it comes to a civil union for the basis of legal benefits and rights between one person and another,  (because anyone can bind themselves to another symbolically without legal recognition), we cannot hold religious doctrine to the citizens of a nation that everyone is be equal under our laws. This would be a block to an American citizen’s right to liberty and their personal pursuit of happiness.

We must recognize this injustice and think of the current and future consequences this restriction has/will have. Families that could be stable homes will never be formed, people will be forced to stay single, and never reach that next level of maturity in a relationship. Children that need to be adopted may never be adopted into a loving environment, and furthermore, children of single parents, my next experience the benefit of two loving adults in their life. There are many consequences that the future can hold and this will affect all of as a nation. For example we will provide more health care to the single person who can’t afford insurance, and cannot get on their partners insurance.  We will not be able to supplicate the economy with more money spent on more weddings, as well as the tax brackets that people will stay in as a single adult. Unless we stand up for them, then we are making them second class citizens that are not able to have the advantage of being an America, simply because of their sexual orientation. Additionally, I think that it is hypocritical of people to say that gay marriage will somehow tarnish the sanctity of marriage when, if most of the marriages in this country as of now are heterosexual, and many still end, in fact, half of them fail for reason that is condemned just as much in the same religious doctrine that people try to use against the idea of gay marriage, i.e. adultery.

I believe that we are doing the exact opposite and creating a bigger problem for our nation by not allowing all people to get married. It is oppressing people from the right to start a stable home and pursue family life. This very oppression is what I believe aid in the stagnant lifestyle that many gay people lead.  Yes there is personal choice on how ones lives, but hear me out.  Even as a Christian myself, (who does not believe that homosexuality is anymore an “abomination” than eating shrimp according to Leviticus- the main book many people like to use for this agenda) I believe that everyone should have the right to a mature relationship and not only have the right to symbolically commit themselves to another, but also have the legal benefits that this country gives to those who promise their lives to each other.  I have read the letter that Paul wrote to the Corinthians where he describes how wonderful it can be to be a single person, but that it takes a lot of self-discipline to stay away from temptations and specifically sexually immoral relationships, debauchery and such that come outside of the safe harbor of marriage. He describes how marriage gives people a safe place, a companionship, to carry out a Godly relationship that is sexually moral. It makes me think back to the days in my life where I was young and single, fuelled by a culture of “freedom” and alcohol, where my behavior was less than moral. If I was not afforded to opportunity to marry someone and settle down with them, ,in a committed, and not only moral, but legal union, would I not be in the same stagnant lifestyle if I was told I had no right to marry the person that I chose to live with in such a way?  It is called settling down for a reason, because many of us can say that we changed our ways when we married.

I personally know a married couple, two women. They are wonderful, they are kind, they are happy, and they have two children, who are being brought up in a loving home, with the support of two parents, who can provide for each other and support each other, in all the ways that a legal marriage provides. They are setting an example, in fact proof, that this is what marriage is about, not their sexual orientation. They live their lives happily, are not a burden to the government, and maintain a healthy monogamous relationship. It was not easy though, they had to marry in another state, and they reside in a state that does not support gay marriage. But, one of them is lucky to work for a company that recognized their union so that they can receive all the benefits from the employed. Think about all of the things that a legal marriage provides: medical coverage or medical emergencies come to my mind, or the right to not speak against their partner in a court of law. Think of the rights that a loving step-parent has to be able to protect a child that they love, or a husband being able to make medical decisions for his wife as she lay dying. These rights are rights that people with the people that they love, no matter what.

Whenever I speak about this subject, I often find that I myself can only come up with one argument as to why this deficiency in citizen’s rights is allowed. And that is the fact that we are a democracy, with the right to vote. So therefore, if the majority of citizens believe gay marriage should not be allowed, then it it will not be. Therein lays the question though, that if this is the right of straight people, then it should be the right of gay people, and therefore, should it be put to a vote at all?

                After talking with many people in regards to my essay and my thoughts on this matter, the big question that was asked of me was should this be something that is handled on the state level or the federal level? This is not an easy question to answer for me because as far as laws on marriage go, I do believe that every state has their own marriage laws. For example how long one must be divorced before they can remarry.   I was also asked how this would define what a marriage is, and how that would affect the way marriage is set up now, and if in fact that a legal union should be called a marriage. I do have an opinion, and I am also open to ideas still, because I am not well versed on the laws of the states vs the federal level, therefore I am willing to learn more , and hear other opinions.  That being said , I would like the outcome of course, to be the same, that all people are able to legally bind themselves to the person they love, so that they also have the same rights as other married people.

“Married.” That is the word here that I think might be a trigger for those against the idea of gay marriage.  Like I said early anyone can have a religious ceremony or other symbolic ceremony and consider themselves to be “Married”.  So, that means that religiously someone could be considered married, without the legal rights of such a bond. Therefore, I think that a solution should be to redefine the joining of two people legally as a civil union. This means, that everyone who is legally bonded to another, will be civilly united under the Law, not under God or another religious deity or ritual, but the law.   Then this leaves it up to the individual couple and their religious preference to call themselves whatever they wish, married, bonded, etc.   

To me , in a perfect world, where things would be as easy done as said, then just as Abraham Lincoln did in his Emancipation Proclamation, when he declared that all men were free, and that anyone who continued to enslave another man, was in rebellion against the United States, the president could announce  that every citizen of the United States has the right to marry whom they chose regardless of sexual orientation, renaming this legal institution as a civil union, and that marriage ceremonies are  not a requirement, but an individual choice. Once legal papers are signed in a courthouse before a judge then the union is made. It’s kind of like a contract, reminds me actually of the contract that is signed in the Islamic marriage, before the man and the woman actually make the promise, they agree on all the legalities in a contract first. Basically, it is a required pre-nuptial agreement. This way all Americans could have a legal document giving them the rights afforded to current married citizens, and still give religion its place in such unions as well. 

 I think that it would sting some citizens of this country, to abandon their stance that a marriage is only between a man and a woman. But it is very imperative that they understand that the laws of their religion should not limit and oppress people, under the laws of this nation. No one should be free to murder, no, but anyone should be free to love, and marry. I hold much hope in my heart, that people who do not understand, will. And, regardless if they believe by God, ( even though, in my opinion, they are wrong if they think otherwise), that we are all equal in the land of Freedom.

Sara Corso

Wedded Bliss

I think it would be hard to write about the rights of Americans without quoting the most important declaration of our nation that “ We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”This is the fundamental core of our doctrine, and it is our responsibility to make sure that each citizen is a fulfillment of this universal truth.

Gay marriage is a big topic today because there are states that are trying to legalize this institution so that anyone has the right to marry whom they choose. I believe that without giving everyone the right to choose who they legally bind themselves too, is in fact violating this fundamental value of our nation. Sexual orientation should not be considered a factor when we are to be a nation where religious beliefs are separate from our democratic government. I read on Steve A.’s essay that the idea of Separation of Church and state, may be going too far is it is removing the ideals that our forefathers established based on their Christian beliefs. It is true that our laws and government are based off of things that Christians consider Godly. Laws based off of the Ten Commandments are also are universal truths to most religions.  And I do personally think that it is important to recognize the foundation that we stand on.  However, I feel that as a nation we need to remind ourselves that we are to govern the people, who are all equal, without religious prejudice. It is the belief of many Christians, and other faiths, that a man should not marry a man, and woman should not marry a woman, and that the sanctity of marriage is to be a union between a man and a woman only.  I do believe though,  when it comes to a civil union for the basis of legal benefits and rights between one person and another,  (because anyone can bind themselves to another symbolically without legal recognition), we cannot hold religious doctrine to the citizens of a nation that everyone is be equal under our laws. This would be a block to an American citizen’s right to liberty and their personal pursuit of happiness.

We must recognize this injustice and think of the current and future consequences this restriction has/will have. Families that could be stable homes will never be formed, people will be forced to stay single, and never reach that next level of maturity in a relationship. Children that need to be adopted may never be adopted into a loving environment, and furthermore, children of single parents, may never experience the benefit of two loving adults in their life. There are many consequences that the future can hold and this will affect all of us as a nation. For example, we will provide more health care to the single person who can’t afford insurance, and cannot get on their partners insurance.  We will not be able to supplicate the economy with more money spent on more weddings, as well as the tax brackets that people will stay in as a single adult. Unless we stand up for them, then we are making them second class citizens that are not able to have the advantage of being an American, simply because of their sexual orientation. Additionally, I think that it is hypocritical of people to say that gay marriage will somehow tarnish the sanctity of marriage when, if most of the marriages in this country as of now are heterosexual, and many still end, in fact, half of them fail for reason that is condemned just as much in the same religious doctrine that people try to use against the idea of gay marriage, i.e. adultery.

I believe that we are doing the exact opposite and creating a bigger problem for our nation by not allowing all people to get married. It is oppressing people from the right to start a stable home and pursue family life. This very oppression is what I believe aid in the stagnant lifestyle that many gay people lead.  Yes there is personal choice on how ones lives, but hear me out.  Even as a Christian myself, (who does not believe that homosexuality is anymore an “abomination” than eating shrimp according to Leviticus- the main book many people like to use for this agenda) I believe that everyone should have the right to a mature relationship and not only have the right to symbolically commit themselves to another, but also have the legal benefits that this country gives to those who promise their lives to each other.  I have read the letter that Paul wrote to the Corinthians where he describes how wonderful it can be to be a single person, but that it takes a lot of self-discipline to stay away from temptations and specifically sexually immoral relationships, debauchery and such that come outside of the safe harbor of marriage. He describes how marriage gives people a safe place, a companionship, to carry out a Godly relationship that is sexually moral. It makes me think back to the days in my life where I was young and single, fuelled by a culture of “freedom” and alcohol, where my behavior was less than moral. If I was not afforded to opportunity to marry someone and settle down with them, ,in a committed, and not only moral, but legal union, would I not be in the same stagnant lifestyle if I was told I had no right to marry the person that I chose to live with in such a way?  It is called settling down for a reason, because many of us can say that we changed our ways when we married.

I personally know a married couple, two women. They are wonderful, they are kind, they are happy, and they have two children, who are being brought up in a loving home, with the support of two parents, who can provide for each other and support each other, in all the ways that a legal marriage provides. They are setting an example, in fact proof, that this is what marriage is about, not their sexual orientation. They live their lives happily, are not a burden to the government, and maintain a healthy monogamous relationship. It was not easy though, they had to marry in another state, and they reside in a state that does not support gay marriage. But, one of them is lucky to work for a company that recognized their union so that they can receive all the benefits from the employed. Think about all of the things that a legal marriage provides: medical coverage or medical emergencies come to my mind, or the right to not speak against their partner in a court of law. Think of the rights that a loving step-parent has to be able to protect a child that they love, or a husband being able to make medical decisions for his wife as she lay dying. These rights are rights that people should have with the people that they love, no matter what.

Whenever I speak about this subject, I often find that I myself can only come up with one argument as to why this deficiency in citizen’s rights is allowed. And that is the fact that we are a democracy, with the right to vote. So therefore, if the majority of citizens believe gay marriage should not be allowed, then it it will not be. Therein lays the question though, that if this is the right of straight people, then it should be the right of gay people, and therefore, should it be put to a vote at all?

Sara Corso

Awakening

Awakening

Life is full of many questions: what am I to do? Who am I to be? And in this modern, complicated world it can be hard to know what the right thing to do is. We are told how to live, what to think, how to act, how to breathe. We are told how we should enjoy our days. But what does it mean to be awake to our lives? To be awake to life means to live life deliberately, for the purpose of pure simple joy, such as, enjoying the beauty in the world and the people around you.

Finding the beauty in this world, for me, it means taking more deep breaths and relaxing in the moments. Enjoying things like the innocent laughter of children instead of wishing for a quiet moment. Taking time away from the internet and the news, worrying about what difference I can make in far-away lands, when I am unable to reach them, for now. But instead, focus on leaving a legacy in the heart of my children for the same passions in life.  It means turning off the computer, and reading a book by the cool of the water on a warm summer day. It means planting flowers; nurturing them and watching them grow, finding the simple joy that lies in the beauty of nature. Emerson wrote in his essay “Nature” that, “There is no object so foul that intense light will not make beautiful. And the stimulus it affords to the sense, and a sort of infinitude which it hath, like space and time, make all matter gay. Even the corpse has its own beauty.” He urges us to go out and see the beauty in everything. To shine a light on the world and see it, actually see it, not just pass it by. Even a corpse is beautiful in its purpose because each death is a personal journey that represents an end, an end to a well lived life or even an end to suffering, and there is always beauty in that.

Thoreau invites us as well, to take a similar journey as he did.  He says, “I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor. It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts. Every man is tasked to make his life, even in its details, worthy of the contemplation of his most elevated and critical hour.” He advises us that it is not too late, because we can make the conscious effort to get to know the world around us. To step away from the daily life of working hard, waking up to the “gossip” (news) as he called it, for once you hear it, do you really need to hear it again?  He suggests living our own lives for our own purpose, in our own will.  Emerson urges us to get to know God as we are to know him, not as we are taught to know him. Why do we have to life our lives and set our goals as a model of those before us when we have the right to explore, discover, and imagine as they did. We should not limit our world to what we already know, there is much more to understand. More inventions and innovations to be found, and if we close out what God and Nature has to say to us by conquering the land instead of just living with it, among the trees and the flowers, and the animals. Then we are to ask ourselves, what am I missing? Just as Thoreau said we have the ability to affect the quality of our daily lives, as long as we contemplate, that is, asking questions. We should not be afraid to ask:  why, or, why not? Why do we have to live as we are told?

I myself have already had this kind of personal revelation, and am glad to have been exposed to these essays, and into the minds of such great writers that can relate so eloquently the fleeting thoughts that run in my mind. I have already had this sense of living in the moment, and enjoying the simplicity in life. I don’t want to make so much money that I have to spend my life working hard at something that is as meaningless as a large sum of money. And sure one could argue that because I am not rich I do not know the freedom of this money. But there are things that speak to me, the day I am driving from a trip to the park to see the baby ducks; I pass by a neighborhood of large cookie cutter houses, with manicured lawns, and no fancy cars. Where are all the fancy cars? They are not in the garages of the houses; no they are parked at the jobs, the high paying, and time-demanding jobs. And I get warmth in my heart knowing that I am taking the time to enjoy the real life, to actually live life, not just go through the motions. I don’t see this as self-sacrifice as others may see it, after all who in the world, according to the world does not want to be rich, and have fancy things? No, this is freedom, so that when I am on my death bed I do not wonder what I missed because I don’t want to miss anything. 

To be awake to the world, nourishing my heart and soul, also means living my life the way that I want to live, loving who I want to love, and not conforming to a life that is dictated to me as acceptable to the society that I live in, If you are a Christian you must marry a Christian. If you want to be successful in life you must go to this college and study subjects that yield the most money. Why should we put such expectation on the human experience" No, I want to love who I want to love, learn about things of this world that may just be for the sake of knowing the world, and humans, and their thoughts and their emotions I want my life to represent a legacy where I have built bridges between another heart and mine, leaving a legacy of cultivating truth and love, beauty, and soul, not money, or treasures, or things that crumble, because my heart is for the good of the people, everywhere in the world.  I want to live life, for living. I want to enjoy what I have now, instead of always feeling like I have to reach for more.  I want to be the kind of person that Emerson describes “And in common life, whosoever has seen a person of powerful character and happy genius, will have remarked how easily he took all things along with him,—the persons, the opinions, and the day, and nature became ancillary to a man.” I want to wear the beauty of the world, the heart of the people that I meet, as a badge of honor. I am not here to conquer, but to be a part of this greatness of life.

“Beauty is the mark of God sets upon virtue. Every natural action is graceful. Every heroic act is also decent, and causes the place and the bystanders to shine.”   - Emerson

 Sara Corso

The Best of Me

Each and every person is individual and unique, having their own personalities, hopes, dreams and a heart like no other. Everyone desires to be their best selves and seeks out the things in life that help nurture that. The best me is a woman who does not compromise her values, stands up for her family, always believes in herself, chases her dreams enthusiastic. She is a woman who is always smiling, encouraging to others, is strong, resilient and always perseveres.  She is a woman who sees the beauty in everything around her.  She is a shining star.

Inspiring to always be my best self I must not let the opinions of others sway me from what is true in my heart. If I have certain convictions, I should not compromise them just to make others happy.  I should stand by my thoughts and beliefs and expect those that love me to honor them. Mutually, I will respect others and compromise whenever possible. To be my best self, I must respect and be confident in whom I am now, forgive myself for any past mistakes, and not let others hold them against me. In Ralph Waldo Emerson's essay "Self-Reliance", he expresses this ever so eloquently when he wrote “the other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them.” The past is not something to be forgotten but something to be learned from. Who I was yesterday, may not necessarily be who I am tomorrow. For, it is only I that will be left alone in the wake of disappointment, after the consuming storm of trying to please all others.

Additionally, in staying true to myself, I must not conform to the opinions of others, for their own happiness and satisfaction. For example, my pursuits in building bridges between the United States and Middle Eastern and North African countries.  I love learning the Arabic language, I love building relationships with people from other cultures, because I believe together we can do great things in this world. Unfortunately, this dream is something that I get a lot of disrespect, judgment and discouragement. But this is my dream, and I will follow it.  Like Emerson said, “What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule, equally in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder, because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it. It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.” These are my dreams and only I can realize them. Whatever God has put on my heart, he has put there for me only, no one can do whatever it is I am called to do, even if I am to make the difference in just one life, it was my job alone. I do however care only enough about what others think, because I want to leave them with an imprint of love.

Furthermore, I must respect the desires of my heart, and only I can understand them fully. When it comes to matters of the heart, I will allow myself to love fully and unconditionally, disregarding the opinions of those who chose to not understand, who takes things that are evil, like racism, and religious differences, and try to use such things as leverage to disconnect me from the people that I love, especially the family I have married into. I will stand up for them because they deserve to be honored just as much as the family I was born into.  Love is not a coincidence, and I will stand up for this love, forever. My best self will go to the grave defending true love.  No one does anything great without breaking the standard.

Lastly, in all of these characteristics of my best self it is clear to me, that it is my duty to be a leader. Someone who shows the world that we are to put aside the differences of religion and culture and  find common ground, so that we can do what we should be doing, helping each other. Arguing over who is right and who is wrong, makes no difference while people around us are crying out for help. Someone who loves people unconditionally, and gives of herself altruistically, that is my best self, leading by example, shining like a star in the dark of night. 

What is American?

What is American?

As you embark on this great and beautiful land, I want to welcome you. Welcome you to a land of dreams come true, and dreams that are yet to be realized. This is a land of opportunity that many that have come before you have sought out. What does it mean to be American? To say what is American, I say American is a culture of many, and a culture of freedom.  I also say, an American is someone who is free to be who they want to be, and to me, that is the beauty of Liberty. There is not necessarily a mold or model of an American, because there is so much diversity in this great country.  Just as Hector St. John Crevecoeur said to those just like you,  a new American, “The next wish of this traveler will be to know whence came all these people? They are mixture of English, Scotch, Irish, French, Dutch, Germans, and Swedes. From this promiscuous breed, that race now called Americans have arisen”. What is even more spectacular in truth today is that out of a population of approximately 282 million people, 31 million are foreign born. This is the beauty of our country that continues to add to the richness that is a great blend of many cultures. Each piece adds something beautiful, enriching the lives of all of us who live here. Furthermore, not only are there European descendants as many of the first settlers were, now, all races and nationalities are represented in the American population. To say what is American is not as easily defined because our roots are global.

That being said, there are some things that could be defined as strictly American. A native, for example are the first people that ever lived on this continent, embracing its lands and appreciating its natural beauty, living among the land as if they were part of it instead of developing it. Things that have been born out of our American culture are things like baseball and hotdogs, Fourth of July celebrations, and one of my favorites, Rock and Roll music. America is also the rolling hills and plains of Kansas, where cattle graze happily and farmers cultivate the land that feeds their own families and the families of all. America is the young Appalachian Mountains to the rugged Rocky Mountains. America is the great cities of New York, filled with businessmen with hearts for the economy, and Mid-west cities like St. Louis, that captures your eye with its Arch that represents the gateway to the West that so many lost their lives in determination of this great discovery. America is the California hills where many sought the promise of gold and prosperity. In such a short time, we have created a beautiful country where you can climb skyscrapers and peer out a window in a high rise and take in the sight of the workings of a city, or stand in the middle of a National Forest among the breathing trees and roaming wild-life, or in the middle of a desert breaching the Grand Canyon, staring at the stars and feeling very small in comparison. Either way, you can’t help but stand in awe of the beauty that surrounds you, forever changing the core of your soul, a glimpse of what the natives must have felt as they lived among nature.

            America is also patriotism, the sense of pride, the feeling that you belong here, and when you take ownership of this great country.  A place where respect and honor, and a sense of protection, runs through your heart.  This is represented in the heart of all citizens, but, more so in the hearts of the U.S. Military; a distinct group of brave men and women who are willing to sacrifice their own lives and happiness and freedoms, for the benefit of others.  This also comes from American will to survive, from the early settlers, to the struggles that many Americans face today, we have pushed through it all and we are proud of that.  Dedication and hard work always pays off and as long as you hold on to your dreams and fight for them, I truly believe they will come true here in this great land of opportunity.

            As proud as we are of what we have done, we are still a country that is ready and willing to learn. This is where you come in, my new friend, bringing a piece of your world to ours, so that we can learn and grow from it. This country is still young and there is much to do and much that can be accomplished.  We are innovative. In this short period of time , we have developed these great cities, carved highways into those beautiful mountains,  created systems of education, preserved the beauty of the land. There is a balance however, and some of this had to be learned through mistakes, but we are able to learn from them, and continue to grow. Nothing has stopped the American dream, a place of “Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” So to say what is American, I say, American is you. Fresh, filled with the dream of greatness, in a land that is ready and waiting for you.  I want to be the first to welcome you to this, please plant your roots, bring your dreams, because the future is bright.